


A Menace to Keyboards

by Burgie



Series: SSO Supernatural Creatures AU [5]
Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 21:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Syntax tries to teach Izabella how to use a keyboard. Then, when that fails, she calls her friends for help. Chaos ensues. Izabella belongs to hollow_moon, Zelda belongs to ZDusk, Eden belongs to sso-eden-dawnvalley on tumblr, Jack below to SSO-Jack-Wolfwatcher, and Jacky belongs to Zebrablanket.





	A Menace to Keyboards

**Author's Note:**

> Edited to fix Syntax's pronouns and relationship tag, please let me know if I missed anything.

Since finding out about their girlfriend’s previous unicorn form, Syntax had been relatively cool with it. It was Jorvik, he’d seen stranger things just walking in the marsh, never mind all the casual weirdness that they picked up on their customised radio which picked up radio waves from all over Jorvik.

But finding out that their girlfriend didn’t know how to use something as simple as a keyboard was just too much for the poor human. Izabella stood over them, blinking in confusion as her partner lay sprawled on one of their beanbags, having fainted when she’d asked, with full seriousness, “What’s a keyboard?” Now, she nudged them with her sneakered foot. Were they dead? She bent down, resting her ear against their chest. No, their heart was still beating. And they were still breathing. Then why were they sleeping? Humans were strange.

When Syntax came to, they opened their eyes to see their girlfriend’s silver eyes staring down at him. Her white hair fell around her face, and they were once again reminded that she had been a horse until just recently. No, not horse, they corrected themselves, unicorn.

“You’ve really never used a keyboard before?” asked Syntax, pushing their glasses back up their nose and struggling out of the beanbag. Izabella moved out of the way before they could accidentally headbutt her.

“No,” said Izabella. “Or a computer.” Syntax gasped and swooned, but did not faint this time. Izabella frowned in concern anyway.

“Okay, well that’s something I’ve got to fix right away,” said Syntax. “I can’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t know how to use my tools of the trade.”

“You’re breaking up with me just because I don’t know how to use a keyboard? And people call me a bitch,” said Izabella, the hurt in her eyes betraying the teasing tone of her voice.

“No! No, no, no, I’d never do that, it’d be stupid of me to be picky about girls,” said Syntax. Izabella was still frowning, though. Syntax sighed. “I’m going to teach you how to use technology.”

“Oh,” said Izabella, and gave them a smile. “Well, thank you.”

“Honestly, I’m thinking of it as a community service,” said Syntax with a laugh. “Alright, follow me into the computer room.”

“Every room here is a computer room,” said Izabella as she followed her partner through their house and to a room that had keyboards and old monitors scattered about, cables coiled up everywhere. It was just as cold as the rest of the house, causing Izabella to shiver and pull her dark blue hoodie tighter around herself. Syntax sat down at the computer desk, pulling themselves closer to it, and pressed a button on the large box that they called a ‘tower’ to turn it on. Izabella watched the whole thing with curious eyes.

“Alright, we’re ready,” said Syntax, pushing the chair back and standing. They offered the chair to Izabella, who sat in it just like a normal human. Her friends had taught her how to sit, and she’d managed that quite well after getting used to her legs bending the other way now. But, looking at the strip of plastic with raised plastic keys on it, Izabella had never felt more confused. She could only stare at it. She hadn’t been paying attention when Syntax had been typing, their fingers moving too fast for her to keep up. 

“How do I use it?” asked Izabella, raising a hand which instinctively curled into a fist. When faced with an unfamiliar situation, Izabella always reverted to her horsey ways. She had been known to whinny in fright.

“Well, you just press down on a key until a letter or something appears on the white page,” said Syntax.

“Hmm,” Izabella hummed, and brought her fist down on the entire keyboard with quite a bit of force behind it. Syntax gasped as keys went flying, and Izabella jerked back, startled.

“Gentler,” said Syntax after removing the old keyboard (they may have cried) and plugging in a new one. Once again, Izabella formed a ‘hoof’, and, before Syntax could stop her, she slammed her fist into this keyboard as well. Syntax began openly crying as they unplugged this keyboard as well, discarding it in the ruined pile.

“Maybe I should call my friends,” said Izabella. “The other guardians. Zelda has had quite some practice with being a human.”

“Yes, please do that,” said Syntax, sounding weak.

Rather than get out a phone, though, Izabella closed her eyes and began to glow a faint white colour. In seconds, a large white fox trotted into the room, turning into a black-haired, pale-skinned human girl with red eyes between one step and the next. A faerie followed, several petals falling from the flower crown atop her long brown hair, and another dark-haired girl followed her. Finally, a scruffy, blue-haired man brought up the rear.

“I hope this is worth it,” the man, Jack, muttered. “You woke me from my depression nap.”

“Good, you should get your ass out of bed and do something,” said Izabella. She looked back at the computer, where Syntax had plugged in the latest victim. “How do I use this thing?” She gestured at the keyboard. 

“I dunno, try using your head,” said Zelda. Izabella, with no thought or tact, slammed her head into the keyboard. She picked it back up, a key falling from her forehead. Izabella scowled while the fox spirit and werewolf in the room dissolved into cackling laughter. Syntax swooned back against the wall, struggling to hold themselves up.

“Oh my god, I’ve gotta record this,” said Jack, laughing, and dug his phone out of his jeans pocket. He hit the record app, and watched while a snickering Zelda plugged in another keyboard.

“Well, that didn’t work,” said Izabella, frowning.

“Maybe you should try using your magic,” said Louisa, though the faerie did look mildly uncomfortable.

“Good idea,” said Izabella. She concentrated, her fist glowing with magical energy this time as she brought it down once more upon the poor keyboard that didn’t deserve any of this. But this time, a spark from the keyboard travelled along the cable hooking it to the computer, into the tower, and the screen blinked out with a sad fizzling noise. This was then followed by a thud over by the wall.

“Congratulations, you killed them,” said Zelda, looking at the fainted form of Syntax.

“No, I think I just killed that,” said Izabella, pointing at the blackened screen of the computer.

“Hmm. I have healing magic, so maybe that extends to repairing technology,” said Eden with a smile.

“Then you should probably also reapir these,” said Izabella, picking up the broken keyboards and placing them on top of the one that she’d fried the computer with. She stepped away, allowing Eden to stand in front of the pile of destroyed electronics. Eden took a deep breath, and her eyes and the tips of her fingers began to glow red-hot with flame as wings made of fire appeared on her back. Sparks danced around her, and her short black hair waved in an ethereal breeze as she reached a hand out to the pile, which promptly burst into flames and began to melt.

“Oh dear,” said Eden, looking in concern at the pile. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Suddenly, a shattering of glass turned all five heads towards the window, where the curtains now fluttered in the breeze caused by a long-haired brunette horse trainer who’d just entered via the window.

“I heard a noise, as though many computers were all screaming in terror,” said Jacky, looking around. When she caught sight of the flaming pile of damaged electronics, she gasped and ran over to it. “No! Who did this to you, you poor things?” Not a single one of the supernaturals was willing to step forward and claim responsibility.

“Can you save them?” asked Izabella, looking at the mess. She looked back at her partner, still lying on the floor. “I think they would die if they could see this right now.”

“I’ll keep them out,” said Louisa, sprinkling some dust over Syntax from a pouch on her hip.

“I’ll do my best,” said Jacky, and grabbed the flaming computer, unplugging it quickly before jumping back out of the window.

“Quick question,” said Eden, still staring at the flaming pile of keyboards. “Does anyone here happen to have water magic?” They all answered in the negative. “Hmm.”

“One sec,” said Jack, and disappeared from the room. When he reappeared, he had a fire extinguisher, with which he sprayed foam over the flaming keyboards. The supernaturals looked at him with amazement. “What, you’ve never seen a fire extinguisher before?”

“No,” said the four women. Jack sighed.

“For all-powerful beings, you guys are really fucking stupid sometimes,” said Jack.

“Hmm, a fire extinguisher, huh?” said Izabella, looking curiously at the red thing. “So it extinguishes fire?”

“No, it fucking accelerates it,” said Jack, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Yes, it extinguishes fire, you fucking idiot!” Izabella didn’t flinch, used to his brash tone. Besides, she knew that she could guilt the fuck out of him at any moment by casually reminding him that he was the reason that Jorvik was now in danger.

“Hmm. Interesting,” said Izabella, smirking as a thought came to her as she looked at Eden’s flaming wings.

“We should probably clean this up before Syntax wakes up,” said Zelda, glancing at Syntax.

“Yeah, I know I’d hate to wake up to this mess,” said Eden. Dismissing her healing fire, she bent down and began to scoop up the keys that had flown everywhere during Izabella’s earlier attempts at typing. Louisa tossed the smouldering keyboards into a large black plastic garbage bag, and Jack and Zelda watched the two more responsible guardians work while Izabella stood over her partner and watched them sleep.

Later that night, after the guardians and their friend had left and Syntax had gone to the observatory to destress, a female figure wearing a black villain mask snuck back into Syntax’s house and gently placed a singed computer back on the desk. She’d done all that she could, and, though the plastic of the monitor was a little warped, the computer was now good as new. Jacky stood back with a proud smile as she admired her handiwork. She made a mental note to tell Syntax to keep their unicorn girlfriend away from computers, keyboards, and anything breakable in the near future.


End file.
